Shoulder Dislocation #8

Although I do have a bum shoulder, Ashley has mis-characterized exactly how it got it: My "pathetic excuse for a shoulder" is the result of my masculine exploits with dangerous and extreme sports. I have dislocated my shoulder: playing goalie, doing a front flip off a diving board while shooting a basketball, playing softball, in a swim race, boogie-boarding, protecting my self from a brutal attack by my wife, playing basketball, and playing [extreme] dodgeball.

Now, I wont bore you with the heroic details of last Tuesday: You will probably be able to see the story on the big screen when someone makes it into a motion picture (depicting my struggle with adversity and achieving success despite my disability; it will be the Hoosiers of dodgeball).

And I did not try to "hide" my shoulder from Ashley: I just downplayed the experience I had that night, omitting certain details that might have caused her to think twice about letting me engage in future sporting events that may involve the use of my arm. Well, apparently I can't get anything past Nancy Drew, and she put two and two together and figured out that my lack of use of my right arm while getting ready for bed might have something to do with my bad man-wound. Oh well! I think I'm better at dogeball with my left arm anyway.

As for surgery: I'm betting that if I dislocate it enough I will finally be able to get a handicap placard. Then I wont have to fight all the teachers and secretaries at school for the A Lot spots. Cross your fingers.