Wii would like to set the record straight!

No, I'm not schizophrenic -- at least not that we know of? So, the moment you've all been waiting for . . . the long awaited arrival of my bowling defense. Here it is: I have none. My wife is mistaken in what the point of this blog is. It isn't to dispute everything she says -- just the wrong stuff. She is right, I lost to my grandma. Ha ha ha . . . you're only laughing because you haven't met my grandma! This lady is tough: she just went in for surgery on both of her feet (serious surgery) and wasn't going to tell anyone because she thought she could manage on her own. I am proud to have lost to my grandma. And as far as losing to Ashley: I'm glad I could boost her self-esteem. Maybe her dad will even start refering to her as his daughter now. I love reuniting families and helping mend their broken fences. It's just who I am. Although, if I we to have a defense to my lack of digital bowling skill, it would probably go something like this:

Can anyone see the difference in these two controllers (these are not remotes for you unskilled in video game lingo)? Yeah, it is pretty obvious that these two controllers are a little different. Well, since I was 6 I have been using a remote similar to the one on the left. With the evolution of gaming came a similar evolution in controllers, ultimately ending up with these two styles above; the XBOX 360 on the left and the Wii on the right. Since about 2002 I have been using the XBOX remote. Then, all of the sudden, on a warm technically-spring evening in June, I am supposed to forget everything I have previously been exposed to and learn a new gaming system in twenty minutes. I think what this comes down to is experience. Let me throw an analogy at you all (since Ashley loves my analogies). Say you are right-handed (as most of you probably are). You do everything with your right hand. Then, suddenly you loose your right hand in a horrific accident. Now you have to learn how to do things with your left hand. Obviously in the beginning you aren't going to be very good at writing or throwing with your left hand. But in time you will become proficient and be able to function. OK, now you are a baby. Your right hand is intact, but for some strange reason your parents tie it behind your back while otor skills develop. Now, I don't have a degree in MFHD, but I would assume that the child would naturally develop using the left hand perfectly well. In fact, the baby would be better at using her left hand at four than the person who lost his in an accident. The moment you have all been waiting for: the tie-in. I am the horribly dismembered accident victim and Ashley the baby. Having learned and played another sytem, it is difficult to find the subtle nuances of the Wii in such a short period of time, but given a little more time and a couple more games, and I am sure I could knock Ashley' s 205 clear out of the water. Ashley, on the other hand, didn't have any prior gaming knowledge (along with my mom and grandma). It was therefore easier for their brains and muscles to adapt to the playing style of the Wii. This is what always happens. Ashley and me get a new game, she wins the first couple and talks trash, I pick up on how to play the game, and Ashley never wins again. Then we don't play that game anymore. Oh, one more thing, I wasn't talking trash. I was telling Ashley to come play a game instead of just watching.

So, that is what my defense would sound like if I actually took the time to form one. Sorry about all the text.